NSFW Maternity: The Preggo Guide to American Apparel

As you've probably gathered by now, I don't like maternity clothes. I like clothes from my favorite stores that can stretch and accommodate my big belly and still look good afterwards. American Apparel, the mainstay of hipsterdom, all things body-con, teen sex appeal and/or exploitation (depending on your opinion) is your BEST FRIEND during pregnancy. This is because during pregnancy you need a lot of really tight-fitting, sexy, stretchy clothes. 

Whaaaaaaat, you are asking? Isn't this contrary to everything you've heard about being comfortable during pregnancy? Well, yes, but luckily we live in a time when ladies finally realized that dressing in giant tents doesn't look good or deceive anyone about what's going on. It's cool to show off your bellies and it's comfortable to wear form-fitting, stretchy clothes, which you can always layer with big sweaters or scarves or boots or your man's giant button down or whatever. HOWEVER, you don't need to buy the ruched crap that they will try to sell you at Destination Motherhood or whatever!! Just go to your local American Apparel and get some basics, which you can wear again afterwards. Here are some staples that you may think you can't wear while your pregnant but you TOTALLY CAN:

The Interlock Mini Skirt

You may think you can't wear a mini skirt while pregnant, but you are totally wrong! It is a staple, and the Interlock is the best one. Here's why: it's super stretchy and soft, it has a panel on top that folds down, so you can put it on over tights, fold the top down under your belly, and wear it with a big baggy shirt or sweater and boots. It will peek out nicely below your sweater and cover up the horror show that is your upper thighs.

The Ribbed Tank

I literally live in this thing. Like the mini skirt above, just throw it over tights or leggings, cute boots, and a giant sweater or open button-down. It's super stretchy so it will last for almost your whole pregnancy. Also like the mini skirt, it will hit right on your mid thigh and cover up the whole upper-thigh situation. It comes in lots of colors so get a bunch and people won't actually notice that you're wearing the same thing every day.

Cotton Spandex Jersey Turtleneck Dress

This is another staple that really needs no introduction. If you are preggo in the wintertime, this meets all your needs- comfort, warmth, and body-con sexiness. The irony of being totally covered up and still being revealing does not go away when you are pregnant- it's actually enhanced. This one needs no sweater- maybe just some kind of long weird necklace? I'll leave that up to you.

A final word of advice: do not shop for any of this shit online while you're at work. Seriously people, the American Apparel website is always NSFW. Unless you are in the bathroom with your phone, peeing for the 1,000th time (which you probably are doing right now) in which case nevermind.

Overalls during pregnancy? Yesssssss

Overalls are an obvious go-to choice when you're pregnant, provided that you wear them with HEELS (and preferably a tiny leather jacket). A contradiction, you ask? Well, yeah, but the point here is that you are not dressing down, you are "elevating" a grungy staple to a higher status. Yes, you are wearing them for comfort, but you need to keep at least one part of your body high-fashion if you are going to go all shlubby everywhere else. YOU MAY NOT WEAR BERKS, or whatever other imitation footbed shoe you bought over the summer because they were "making a comeback", with your overalls while pregnant. Also, make sure the overalls are kind of on the slim (form-fitting) side. If they are still super baggy, put them back in the closet and wait a few months. 

Overalls are great because they are roomy and comfortable, and styled right, they can walk the fine line between adorable and sexy (as in the photo above). PROVIDED THAT YOU DO NOT WEAR THEM WITH FLATS. Am I making myself clear? A tiny Chanel handbag doesn't hurt either (never does). 

One downside: going to the bathroom. I'll leave it at that.

Try these with these.

We will not be using the word "bump."

Dude, you look good. That's what people are thinking when they see you, pregnant lady. And that's pretty much how you should be made to feel, although it's hard when your clothes don't fit right and you feel tired, crampy, grumpy, sad, or any of the other seven dwarves at any given time. So, maybe you go online to look for some cute maternity clothes, or even just inspiration from other ladies for how to dress, and that's when you run into a big problem.

Maternity clothes suuuuuuuck. 

Not only do the clothes suck, but the conversation about it sucks. The word "bump" is used a lot, you're told to wear flats, and a whole lot of ruched tanks tops are being pushed on you at all times. So, we need a place to look at pictures and talk about pregnant ladies who are looking amazing without any of that nonsense. Women who continue to be their badass selves, but with a big round tummy. Let's look at some outfits that are as amazing as these women feel and get some inspiration. We won't be using the word "bump," ever (after this post).

We're not going to talk baby gear, or even babies per se, although we obviously love them (and that's why we're having them). We are just going to talk about women who are killing it in the streets with their pregnancy style: sometimes ordinary women, sometimes celebrities (well, yeah).  We will talk about some beauty products, shoes, and whatever else comes to mind, and if a really, really amazing diaper bag* is discovered, we will discuss. But mostly we will celebrate women growing another human being and looking like a badass while doing it. 

A little about myself: I am a designer, musician, and the mother of a little boy. I am currently growing another little human (gender unknown), estimated to arrive this winter. I've recently returned to my small New England hometown, after years of living in NYC.

*When I can I will credit photos, link to places to purchase items, etc. No promises.